I've skipped out of several events lately (local theater shows, dates with new dudes, and a few concerts, including Snow Patrol, whom I really wanted to see) because of overwhelming stress and anxiety from life. I'm thinking this surprises no one.
I had a ticket to a show last week just three days after JJ died. I'd called in sick that day for work - I was still in shock, I think, and I'd done that terrible thing where you wake up in the morning, slowly open your eyes while your brain is still in a fog, and then you just start crying before you even really remember why you're sad. I'd given myself near-black eyes from crying the previous days, and I truly couldn't drag myself to the office that morning. So I called in sick. And I was starting to doubt my ability to leave the house or interact with humans ever again when a friend unexpectedly texted me to come meet him at a nearby coffee shop, and said it was ok when I told him that I looked and felt disastrous. Which I did. Both. But that first outing after so much sadness and hiding made me feel brave, and so I decided to try my concert that night.
The band Fun. is currently driving you crazy on the radio, but I am addicted to their sweet teenage looks and 80's hooks. Fun. is what would happen if Queen and Mika had an alt-pop baby. And then named it Fun.
It was an easy, thrilling, mindless night at the tiny Roseland Theater, and it didn't bother me a bit that I was older than most there. The crowd sang every word of every song, and the young band was so thrilled that the singer got quite choked up over it. I know this is another indication I'm aging, but it was refreshing to experience the absence of entitlement and such a genuine expression of gratitude. There was just a lot of happy going on. The music I listen to now (thinking mostly about rap, actually) has such a positive vibe. I don't remember that from when I was a youngster. At one point the singer had us turn to someone we didn't know and introduce ourselves, and then he yelled, "Great! Now that's your dance partner for the next few bars!" So my new buddy, Levi, and I laughed and had fun while we danced through the rest of the song.
I was truly grateful for such a good time. I looked terrible and I hadn't slept for weeks, but those two hours were a mental vacation. Fun. is coming back to Portland at the end of the summer and I already have my ticket.